“La la lost you.”
Existence after losing someone in your daily existence appears to change everything. Life following loss makes everything feel different. Why don’t we learn to prepare for loss? Loss can take many forms.
Losing someone might cause us to lose ourselves. But perhaps we should be able to lose someone so that we do not lose ourselves any further? Maintaining something that already causes us to progressively lose ourselves is terrible; I don’t want to lose it, but I’ll lose myself even more later.
Since childhood, we have been trained to only reply to anything good; when given a gift, we must respond gladly; when given a surprise, we must also respond pleasantly; and when given pleasant things, we are always taught to thank and respond cordially. However, we are never taught how to handle a loss. When we lose something, we are sometimes forced to be more patient, to be less emotional, and to refrain from crying. However, we are never taught how to react to losing something, let alone someone. When you lose someone, it feels as if life stops, becomes noisier, and loses its purpose.
In my perspective, the process of accepting someone’s death takes considerably longer; we must go through an up-and-down phase that feels terrible. Losing someone is sometimes necessary, but it may also be a source of regret. That phase will continue to accompany us until we truly believe it is a requirement rather than a regret. I’m unprepared when I suffer a loss, let alone when I lose someone. I don’t know how to stand and walk after he’s gone. And this time, I completely lost him.
After losing him, I felt like I had lost myself. But, perhaps, it was when I was with her that I began to lose myself, and by the time we parted ways, I had lost a significant portion of myself. When he left, I felt as if I was living a new life, as if I had lost both him and myself.
I would rather lose him than lose myself totally. Let the half of myself that I lost go with him, but I can save the other half of myself.